I was confronted by a man in the supermarket early in the morning. He was in his late forties, untrimmed beard, long uncombed hair, oversized clothes, and overused white sneakers. With his hands in his pockets he looked at me and asked, "Excuse me sir, I am really hungry and I was just wondering if you could spare a dollar or whatever you'd like to offer?"
I looked at him for a few seconds trying to decide if he was worthy of my money. He looked like he could work. He managed to walk all the way to the supermarket to ask for money. I had money. It was not going to affect me in any way. If I wanted, I could have given him a ten dollar bill. However, given the fact his appearance suggested he had strength and energy to work, I only gave him one dollar. He thank me and walked away.
I approached the register to pay for my items and there he was with his friend and about to pay for two forty-ounce bottles of Miller High Life. I placed my items on top of the belt and could not believe what I had seen. He looked at me and said, "Thank you."
"Is this what you used the money I gave you? You said you were hungry. What the hell?" I responded with veins on my fists.
"I'm sorry I lied to you. The truth is we're hung over and need this to recover and get back to work." He said while his friend paid for their bottom-shelf malt liquor.
He was about to say more but I interrupted him. I said, "Save it, don't care."
That was not the first time I had been in a similar situation. One day, a boy in his teens approached me while I put my groceries away in the trunk of my car. He asked, "Excuse me. I am really hungry. Do you have any money I can have to buy some food?"
I knew I didn't have any cash. I said, "Sorry kid. I don't have any cash. I just bought groceries. I can give you a banana and a bag of chips."
To my surprise his response was "no" and walked away.
Another time a man asked me in the parking lot outside a Starbucks if I could spare some change for food. Once again I didn't have any money. I extended my arm with a couple of muffins in a plastic bag as an offer. He rejected it. He placed his palm in his stomach and said, "Uh, well, no I can't. I have stomach problems."
"Are you serious!? Then get the hell out of here!" I actually yelled. He walked away and towards the next person in the lot.
Those three unfortunate occasions of rejected generosity are clear on my head. The times I have given money or food and accepted with gratitude are many and outweigh the others. I like to help. I don't mind sharing my hard-earned dollars with other less-fortunate individuals. My problem is when the individual uses the money for drugs or alcohol. I am quite sure there have been times when the individual abused the use of the money I have provided. As proven by the man with his bottles of malt liquor. Knowing what your charity is for can separate a good deed into a wasted effort of benevolence. Not knowing is a good deed used as a personal act of satisfactory fulfilment of philanthropy with yourself. Therefore, if you are the type of person who likes to help others, are you ignorant and could care less for whatever the charity given is used for as long as it makes you feel good? Or are you the type of person who wants to help others but demands transparency in the charity given and used for nourishment and not a vice?
Whatever the situation, if you give to a homeless person, be ready to accept the fact that money given can lead to a meal or a bottle. These people can be as honest and dishonest as ordinary individuals. I didn't like the three negative situations I was in with my charity. It will not change my mind about giving. I am going to give and hope for the best. I am going to give and feel good about it. I am not going to give if I get bad vibes from the individual because I should be giving and feeling good about it. The first time I was in San Francisco, I saw a homeless man holding a sign which read "Why lie I want a beer." I was impressed with his honestly and cleverness that I gave him five dollars.
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