Saving the Earth is Optional

     I took this picture in the bathroom of a mall in Orange County, California. I was amazed to see the sign suggesting the use of a hand dryer above the paper towel dispenser. It's like having a sing for "Go Vegan" on the meat counter.

Room For 7: gardening

EDDIE: Nathan, who told you to hire those gardeners?

NATHAN: No one. I saw them working on the house across the street and asked them to work on my house. Why? Do you think I am paying them excessively?

EDDIE: Not if they do a good job! It doesn't matter how much you pay them. Look at the front yard? It looks terrible.

NATHAN: It looks normal to me.

EDDIE: Maybe to the untrained eye. The grass is uneven; The bushes on the right need some trimming; The palm by the pool needs a haircut. Jeez, I'm already getting a headache just talking about it.

NATHAN: Can you be the one--

EDDIE: Hold it man! I know I'm Mexican but that doesn't mean I'm born with the gardening skills.

NATHAN: I meant, can you find someone for me? I would like you to vet them and hire them.

EDDIE: Easy. Here's the card.

NATHAN: (reads card)"Rodrigo's Landscape. Rodrigo Trinidad, Landscape Artist. Los Angeles." This is first time I hear a gardener call themselves "Landscape Artist." 

EDDIE: Yeah, my uncle doesn't like to be called a gardener anymore. Once he learned how to master the art of Topiary, he upgraded his official title.

NATHAN: What was the most impressive work he has done?

EDDIE: You know regular stuff like elephants, rabbits, that twister thingy, a penis.

NATHAN: Did you just say, Penis?

EDDIE: Yes I did. He wanted to piss off one of my cousins and he trimmed his front bushes into the shape of a penis. I would call that impressive all the way. That was a good day laughter and joy.

NATHAN: Hire him please. Professional work, nothing of phallic nature.

The Domination of Fast Food and Ubiquitious Existence

California Tire Shop